Joseph Biden Morphs Into ‘American Psycho’ Patrick Bateman on Live Television

Biden’s first, sad, vapid State of the Union address was very “hope and change”-esque — reminiscent of a 2007–2008 Obama speech, just with more slurring, longer pauses, and confused staring into space. Let’s get straight to the lowlights:

00:42: Biden thanks the “madame vice president” for being a woman: “no president has ever said those words from this podium and it’s about time”

Slay queen, clap, please be seated.

00:48: Biden acknowledges the first lady who he notes, sounding a bit confused, is his wife: “First Lady… I’m her husband?”


01:30: Buzzword salad: “extraordinary times, come to speak to the nation and the world, to celebrate peace, talk about crisis, revitalizing democracy, winning the future,” etc.

02:25: “America is on the move again” — just not running up airplane stairs anymore (doctor’s orders)

03:40: Thanks Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer for courageous leadership during COVID lockdowns while “America’s house was on fire”… more vaccines in people’s arms still needed, etc.

05:15: Dr. Biden says: “Go get vaccinated, America. Go and get the vaccination.”

[literal standing applause for vaccinations, slay queen, so brave]

Why is Joe Biden dispensing medical advice? He is supposed to be reading a speech his staffers wrote for him on the State of the Union, not a vaccine rally. More importantly, why should instructing people to get vaccinated warrant a standing ovation?

This is the lowest bar for applause in human history. Standup comics would kill for a crowd so easy.

07:50: Biden brags about “sending $1,400 rescue checks to 85% of American households. We’ve already sent more than 160 million checks out the door. “

When he was campaigning for Georgia democratic senator candidates, politician Biden promised $2000 checks “out the door” within 2 weeks of his Jan 21st inauguration.

Somehow, checks that are $600 short of the initial promise — sent out months after being in office, not two weeks — is a bragging point worthy of mention in a State of the Union address.

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08:00–10:00: Biden spends the duration of the next several minutes congratulating himself and the benevolence of his administration for doing the bare minimum to keep Americans from starving to death due to the economic lockdowns that still exist in April 2021:

“That’s why the rescue plan is delivering food and nutrition assistance to millions of Americans facing hunger — and hunger is down sharply already. We’re also providing rental assistance, you all know this but the American people, I want to make sure they understand — keeping people from being evicted from their homes, providing loans to small businesses to reopen and keep their employees on the job.”

How did things get this bad? Why are Americans on the brink of starvation? How can it be that millions of Americans are on the verge of eviction? Why are all the small businesses dying?

The root causes are never addressed — just self-congratulations for putting a band-aid on the gaping wound of American society and economy.

11:40: “Build back better”….

12:15: “Now we’re on Mars, discovering vaccines.”

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12:50: I quit, and all of the Swamp things on the Telescreen dissipate into the ether. In the silence I resume reading Bret Easton Ellis’ 1991 novel, American Psycho, a revelatory dive into the end result of mindless consumerism and life-as-theater. In an exquisite paragraph, Ellis transcribes Biden’s speech through the narration of the protagonist Patrick Bateman:

“…there is an idea of a [Joe Biden], some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there.”
― Bret Easton Ellis, American Psycho

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